ok, here's something to think about. if Jesus died for everybodies sin, then how come everyone isn't saved? does that mean people who die without Jesus then get punished for sins that have already been taken away? or did jesus retrospectivly "un-die" for those sins?
Nothing else. Not my works, not my faith. Not my ability to go to church when I don't want to, or my ability to pray when I really don't feel like it. Not my love for anybody whom I meet or have only heard about.
It's like I've just been struck by lightning you know. I've heard the gospel so many times, but is it now that I am only truely understanding it? I am saved by grace, nothing else! I used to think that of course, but I also, contradictorily, believed that we had to try our hardest to follow God and not sin, otherwise we were not saved.
How much of my sin did Jesus die for exactly? If I believe that I have to try hard to get to heaven, then he can't have died for all my sins, and if that is the case, then what guarantee do I have of my salvation? I don't have any. Of course Jesus died for all my sins, past, present and future!
Its like I've just realised, that my works, and my faith, are a result of God's infinite grace! I was completely dead to sin, nothing in myself desires God, the only reason I can come to God is because he has extended his grace toward me. Me "being a better christian" doesn't make me better in God's sight. Jesus died for all my sins, how can I be any closer to God? Sure I can understand him better, and I yearn to do that, but can God accept me any more? Of course not. Grace truely is a gift from God, given freely, without any payment in any way from us, there is not a single thing that we have done on earth which has made God give this to us.
I guess I'm just writing this down because it's like it's just dawned on me. It's an amazing thing this gospel, I'm sure that without God's grace I'd be a terrible sinner, hold on, I am still a terrible sinner, sometimes I don't see how God can still love me despite it all, but I guess that is part of the miracle of grace.
May God bless you all.
